Huma Abedin an’ Alex Soros’ Hamptons Hoolie

[noumoe]

Och, what a bletherin’ stramash! Huma Abedin, Hillary Clinton’s ever-loyal “second lassie,” an’ Alex Soros, the laddie jinglin’ with his da’s £25 billion progressive purse, tied the knot on Saturday in a Water Mill, N.Y., bash so swanky it’d make a laird’s castle look like a damp bothy. The Soros estate was loupin’ wi’ Democratic bigwigs, provin’ that naebody says “I do” like a fleet o’ private jets an’ black SUVs turnin’ the Hamptons into a fortress fit for a Bond villain.

But the real kicker? The juicy details o’ this high-falutin’ hoolie were spilled by Pepe the Frog, the internet’s slipperiest meme, who was forced to ditch his Scottish holiday to play reporter. Aye, Pepe was kickin’ back with a whisky by Loch Ness when the 17th letter o’ the alphabet—ye ken who—pinged him with the same cryptic order he’s been hearin’ for years: “Follow Huma.” “I was plannin’ to chase haggis an’ bagpipes,” he griped on X, “but that letter’s been bangin’ on forever, so I fired off the weddin’ scoop to Vogue, kilt an’ all.”

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